Funnier Than Fiction

They say that real life is stranger than fiction, and if you wrote it no one would believe it. I've found that to be true on occasion. In this case, the following tale is a true-life experience of a friend of mine (shared with permission). I bet if this were included in a novel, people would say the author was reaching, going over-the-top, and needed to get a reality-check. No one could be this clueless. Welcome to real life...

For the sake of a good laugh here's a stranger and funnier than fiction story!

(spelling and punctuation reflect actual texting conversation)

I got two calls from a number in Florida I didn't recognize. The second call I answered but heard nothing on the line, so I hung up. The number then texted me, and here follows our conversation. I am not making this up:

Florida Number (FN): Hey sam its savanna I tried calling u but it sounded like ur mom i thout u had ur own phone
Me: Sorry, you must have the wrong number
FN: Ill call u what is the right number give me and ill call u.
Me: Sorry, what I meant was this is not Sam. Nor Sam's mom. I have never heard of him.
FN: what
(I'm thinking, what do you mean what? what is not clear about this?)
Me: You must have written the number wrong, this is my number and I am in no way related to this Sam you are looking for.
FN: Text me ur right number
Me: *face palm

I gave up.

Being Punctuated: A Matter of Clarity and Comedy

I recently had a discussion with some friends about why so much time is spent on grammar and mechanics in school. Isn't it all a little arbitrary and pointless? To partially answer that, I submit the following cases where the grammatical mechanics (punctuation in this case) make all the difference in meaning.

Try not to laugh too hard.

 

1. Say "No" to drugs

Incorrectly punctuated:
Just say "No" to drugs from the D.A.R.E. police officers.

Whoops, lets not turn the officers into drug dealers.
Just say "No" to drugs, from the D.A.R.E. police officers.

 

2.A comma could save a life

Incorrectly punctuated:
For all those who like to cook and eat my wife just made a blog with recipes.

Let's make sure no cannibals show up:
For all those who like to cook and eat, my wife just made a blog with recipes.

Incorrectly punctuated:
"I want to eat Mom!"

Or, for the good of the whole family:
"I want to eat, Mom!"

3. Declaration of love?

I'm sorry I still love you.

Or, is it...
I'm sorry. I still love you.

4. Emphatic Quotation Marks

 

5. Who needs who?

Woman without her man is nothing

Could be:
Woman: without her, man is nothing.

Or:
Woman, without her man, is nothing.

You decide.